本帖最後由 分岔 於 2010-6-15 11:33 編輯
之前有同學說我是腐男
我都不承認
不過在看過我第一次打的小說之後
我就想啊
說不定是真的
我的母語不是英文
會打出這篇文是因為這是英文課的作業
老師給我們十個主題發揮(高中時)
我選了莫非定律
其實只要寫滿一張A4只就好了
但不知為何卻寫了將近7 8 頁(靈感大神附身)
我知道御論有很多香港人
香港人英文應該都很厲害
所以
有請各位大大幫我看看吧.......
Personification Project-Murphy’s Law
It was Saturday. It was sunny and there was no wind. Everything seemed peaceful.
If the situation was so peaceful, how did my story go on? It’s because there was just short period of peace before a huge storm.
I was doing my homework with my computer and my cousin kept me company.
My cousin is a computer engineer who just finished his army service.
It is possible that mandatory army service will be canceled so I don’t have to take army service in the future.
My homework was about art and the theme was personification.
If my computer was personified, it would be an old and half-deaf man walking slowly with a cane.
If your pet became human, would you pet it as usual?
If my computer became human, how could I use it?
The left chest would be Enter.
The hand would be mouse.
And the eyes would reflect images on a wall.
As imagination went on, my desire to turn my computer into a human became stronger.
I didn’t know why.
Using a human-like computer would be a hassle.
You would have to make some embarrassing poses to use it.
At last, I finished my homework and asked my cousin if technology can really turn a computer into a human.
My cousin was like’’ You watch too much science fiction.”
I was a little disappointed, but when I searched for the word, personification with the Google search engine again.
I found a special website with a strange download saying click here for a computer personification program.
“Don’t click it.” My cousin warned me. “Maybe it’s a virus.”
But my hand uncontrollably moved the mouse and clicked the link.
At that moment my computer glowed and slowly turned into a human.
It was a boy with round red eyes like lights of my computer, obviously but with symmetrical muscles with symbols of keyboard buttons, white skin like my computer shell and long white hair like electric wires.
Was he an albino?
My cousin and I were so flabbergasted that we couldn’t even speak.
And he just sat there watching us with pure expression in his eyes.
At last, I broke the silence.
“How old are you?” I asked
“I’m six.”
A six year old body builder！
Well it was not the point, although I was envious of it.
“I have heard of it before. “said my cousin “But I thought it was just a story,”
“In order to enable old people and low-educated people to use a computer our government started a project where the ex-president had to borrow more money from his supporters, and now he is even in a lawsuit for the money he got.
That is not the point.
The point is that the project succeeded.
The computer will be easier to use and what’s more, the proportion of poor people caused by a lack of Internet knowledge will decrease. “
“Why will the lack of internet knowledge cause poverty? “I asked
“For example, some farmers and local craft makers don’t know how to commercialize their products with the Internet, so that they only have a small market, if they know how to do it, their market will spread to the whole world.
What’s more they can learn extra knowledge.
Being a farmer isn’t easy; it’s a kind of bio-technology, but farmers in Taiwan always use wrong ways to grow crops or fruits, like fertilizing crops too much , wrong proportion of pesticides etc”
”Enough！”I shouted
“Are you an expert of agriculture or a computer engineer?
I know the author didn’t give you much chance to talk in the previous part, but you overreacted.
Do you stand in my computer’s shoes?
He should be the main character, but he just said a sentence “I’m six”.”
As soon as I finished yelling at my cousin, the door bell rang.
I opened the door and found out there was a group of people in black suits standing in front of my house.
“I’m a TST (Taiwan Secret technology) agent. “Said the agent.
” Ten billion will be paid to you for helping us finish our computer personification project.”
“You did it on purpose, didn’t you, Lavender.” said my cousin
“I don’t want to get involved with that hassle. That was why I quit my job in the military.”
“Really? But you made a lot of intelligent remarks with your eyes sparkling. “I asked
“I did. BUT, I don’t want to do it by myself. I just want to rest and enjoy the result. “My cousin answered
“We chose this house as an experiment court at random. “
Said Lavender with an evil smile
” Every expert wants this job, but the weirdo, Clarence refused it.”
Congratulations！My cousin’s name is finally known to the readers
“It is not simply a hassle.” Said Clarence with serious expression in his eyes
“The last thing I’m going to say is that this project is still on the experimental process.
Only when you bring up your computer to sixteen year old, can you get the ten billion.
If your mission failed, you’ll have to pay us ten billion.” said Lavender
“You should have read the contract before clicking the link.”Lavender smiled
“Will this kind of contract work?”I thought.
“Do you forget that you even enter your identity card number and credit card ones?”
“Your cousin must have been scammed many times. ”Lavender smiled
“Poor Clarence.”
When they are gone, I made a conclusion “We’ll either be in Heaven or Hell.”
After I made this conclusion, I went back to try to use my computer.
When I went back, I found something terrible that it hadn’t occurred to me
“Little did I know, your intelligent remarks froze him” I complained
“Internet, global market, pesticide proportion…”Eliot was talking nonsense
It is the name, Eliot that I gave to him
“I took you here in case my computer freezes, but you didn’t only freeze him,butalso bring me ten billion in debt. “I complained
“I’m trying my best to fix him. Don’t bother me. “Said Clarence
Only when I faced this situation, did I think about Murphy’s Law.
Every time I use my computer alone, it freezes. This time I took a computer engineer with me, the situation is worse.
But it’s not a big deal. With my love to Eliot and Clarence’s skill at fixing computers, Eliot, Clarence and will live a happy life in subsequent ten years.
“Wait！Can a computer grow up? “I asked
“I told you. It’s not merely a hassle. “Replied Clarence
Maybe
“Did Lavender read my mind?” I asked
“It’s needless to use ESP power to read your mind. “ Clarence sighed
Special feature
Eliot
繪師(夏禹與季)說:才6歲而已
我大概也是第一次畫年紀這麼小的吧
所以比例怪怪的要說XD
另外衣服版我可以解釋一下
大概13歲那邊會開始打GAME是小孩的天性
所以我想說如果他是一台電腦
他就可以玩自己
呃...應該說用自己的電腦玩?
唉...不知道該怎麼說
不過我覺得可以用這樣表現他是一台電腦
不是遊戲機喔
我(分岔)回應:很不錯
超可愛的
其實我覺得你忘了一點東西
Etner和shift旁都有箭頭
加下去比較有鍵盤的感覺
還有
肚擠放上電源按鈕會更可愛(雖然有安全之虞)(個人想法)
故事裡面還有3位角色
我看還是寄給你故事好了
意思就是有新工作了
雖然是英文
不過只有單字難一點
不錯呢,你的英文一定會進步的 (奸笑) 如果不行
我會寄中文版給你
就這樣
最後
當然不用重畫了
本來是想這樣講的(迷之音:真拐彎抹角的一個人)可是肌肉太小了
根本看不到
可是又不想變成七龍珠的兄貴正太(好矛盾)
再多放一點鍵盤唄(如Tab/Alt/ctrl)
失禮了
重畫一下吧
我該不會是第一個要求重畫的唄
有一個好玩的益智RPGhttp://armorgames.com/play/3273/knightfall
有空就玩玩吧
於是又有新版本
夏:的確是第一個要重劃的阿XD
還好啦
其實那張我也不太滿意
人化太小
沒辦法寫字上去=口=
不過我覺得6歲小孩有這麼大塊的肌肉根本不是人了
(雖然他本來就已經不是人=P
恩
好吧我會再次努力
指示鍵盤要放哪我還要研究一下XD
還有他的滑鼠放哪阿
還有USB插孔?
還有主機的總電源?
那些東西會有嗎XD
順代一提
我英文爛到單字都背不起來
(這是什麼鬼譬喻法阿=口=
的確是第一個要重劃的阿XD
還好啦
其實那張我也不太滿意
人化太小
沒辦法寫字上去=口=
不過我覺得6歲小孩有這麼大塊的肌肉根本不是人了
(雖然他本來就已經不是人=P
恩
好吧我會再次努力
指示鍵盤要放哪我還要研究一下XD
還有他的滑鼠放哪阿
還有USB插孔?
還有主機的總電源?
那些東西會有嗎XD
順代一提
我英文爛到單字都背不起來
(這是什麼鬼譬喻法阿=口=
分岔:usb.....................(鼻孔)
滑鼠.....................首先要握住他的手然後使用(這設定有點怪)
其他三人就算了
先把Eliot搞好唄
哆啦x夢也不是吃東西就能補充能源(必要時就用頭髮充電唄,本來就從電線變成的)
夏禹:給分岔大
不好意思沒簽名
我真的好忙=口=
那個上下左右鍵忘了描了=口=
看得到嗎?
我有稍微改一下
比較沒那麼呆
(雖然說呆呆的也不錯XD
你說USB插鼻孔害我噴了XD
好啦
我不能再幫你畫了
因為我搬家要切網路
搬過去我媽又不要接網路
以後可能都不會上網
所以說我會退出繪鋪
真的很抱歉
希望這最後的作品您還滿意=)
PS
因為最近借了銀魂26集
所以肌肉研究蠻多的(封面就是肌肉男XD
在此感謝夏禹與季(此人的化名)作畫
因為這是作業
所以有給老師看過 應該是沒啥問題(因為老師是美\國人)
不過我給老師的事沒附插圖的(有還得了
不過這是我之後又稍微改了一下的版本
所以不知道有啥文法錯誤
劇情不通順不分也請大大們看看
那位英文老師還稱讚我說
這是他近十年來改到最好的作業
我想有很大原因是篇幅長的關係吧(因為我同學都寫很短
而且好像沒完結
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狗仔卡
發表於 2010-6-14 13:52:35
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